Good grief, it’s Christmas. This Christmas, as a result of the global pandemic, will look a lot different for some. Echoes of silence and bouts of grief have replaced the laughter and joy that once filled many corridors. For some, COVID-19 marked the onset of their season of devastation. For others, their calamities began long before the manifestation of the virus; the pandemic only compounded the anguish. Despite the origin, one thing is clear: grief always leaves an indelible mark.
Grief is Part of the Human Experience
Grief is ubiquitous. None of us can escape it, and none of us are immune to its impact. Our human experience dictates that we are either coming out of a season of grief or headed into one. Yet, although grief’s sting is universal, many of us are embarrassed to express our vulnerability. Further adding to the stigma is the Christian culture’s tendency to overspiritualize grief. Idioms such as “it’s for the best” or “they’re in a better place” are often well-intentioned but misguided. They minimize and trivialize our humanity.
Mourning is not a character flaw. It is not a sign of weakness. Going through the emotions caused by grief is necessary and healthy. Even Jesus wept. Isaiah 53:3 describes Jesus as a “man of sorrow.” Jesus knew what it was like to experience grief, and he embraced that part of his human experience. As such, so should we.
During our season of mourning, we should know that grief has no predefined timeline or universal expression. Multiple factors can and will affect how we process and heal. Additionally, there might be times when we cannot mend on our own and will need to seek professional counsel. That decision should not be vilified. Just as there is nothing wrong with grieving, there is also nothing wrong with asking for help.
Good Grief, It’s Christmas!
So how do we celebrate Christmas in the face of tragedy (e.g., loss of a loved one, divorce, job termination, etc.)? The answer is: the best way we can. The act of “celebration” will look different for each individual. For some, celebration could mean lighting a candle on behalf of a departed loved one. For others, it could mean having a low-key gathering with friends and family and reminiscing over fond memories. The celebration of Christmas could even be something as simple as humming a song in our hearts. Although there is no right or wrong way to navigate through grief, the one thing we probably should avoid is self-isolation.
Don’t Go it Alone
While it is necessary that we grieve in our own time, it is equally important that we do not become isolated. During our time of sorrow, it is important that we identify our support network—the people on whom we can lean and depend. Furthermore, we should not forget to lean on our faith. Grief brings a lot of anger and resentment towards God, but we should not forsake Him. Instead, we should address our concerns with Him. Doing so is an equally important part of healing.
Merry Christmas
Today, we will celebrate Christmas together and light a candle for the memories of the people, things and circumstances that have passed.
Note: If you find that you are having a hard time coping, please talk to your doctor or mental health professional about treatment options. You can also find resources on the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website. Click here.