Have you ever felt like you have exhausted the extent of your knowledge and capabilities, but you still just can’t seem to get ahead? In fact, you’ve toiled, cried, prayed, fasted, and even begged, yet all your efforts have fallen flat. Perhaps there is one other consideration that you haven’t yet factored in. That consideration is your circle of influence. It is possible that there are people in your sphere who are hindering your acceleration. Their mere presence is hampering your advancement, and in order to grow and excel, you will have to make a conscious decision to let those people go. Below are five reasons why it is important to get rid of the negative influences in your life.
There is nothing new under the sun. For every problem or challenge that we face, those who have come before us have already encountered a similar feat. In the Scriptures, Abraham and his nephew Lot’s encounter serves as an example of how unauthorized relationships can hinder our destinies.
In Genesis Chapter 12, God spoke to Abraham, who was then called Abram, and said:
‘Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. 2 I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others.3 I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you,’ (New Living Translation, 1996/2015).
Five Reasons to Get Rid of Negative Influences
Reason 1: They Are Time Wasters
People who are not assigned to our purpose have a propensity to waste our time. If we break down the above passage, we notice that God specifically identified the people and places that Abram should have left behind:
- Native country
- Relatives and
- Father’s family.
However, Abram was disobedient. In verses four and five, the text reads, “Lot went with him [Abram]… He [Abram] took his wife, Sarai, his nephew Lot, and all his wealth—his livestock and all the people he had taken into his household at Haran—and headed for the land of Canaan” (New Living Translation, 1996/2015).
Abram traveled with an entourage from his homeland to Canaan. For those of us who have ever traveled or made arrangements with a large group, we understand how difficult simple decisions can become when involving multiple people and personalities. Decisions that would normally take seconds or minutes can sometimes take hours or days. For Abram, traveling with such a large group would have inevitably resulted in delays (e.g., directional disagreements, pit stops, rest breaks, etc.). The same is true in our lives. Traveling with a passee can halt our progress.
When God calls us to greatness, He will often limit those with access to us. Having too many contributing opinions can lead to confusion and the derailment of our purpose. Oftentimes, when God moves us to the next dimension, He places us in isolation and removes us from others’ influence.
Five Reasons to Get Rid of Negative Influences
Reason 2: They Can Be Parasitic
Many people who are negative influences can present as non-contributory freeloaders. The story of Lot also illustrates this point. In verse four, the text stated that “Lot went with him.” There was no indication that either God or Abram had invited Lot to tag along. Nonetheless, this passage reminds us of God’s infinite grace. It reminds us that God will often bless others on account of us. As a result of Lot’s affiliation with Abram, he had become extremely wealthy. Oftentimes, when God blesses us, He also blesses our associates by proxy. Remember Aaron. His blessings were a direct result of Moses’s overflow.
Five Reasons to Get Rid of Negative Influences
Reason 3: Jealousy
While it might seem intuitive for individuals who partake in our blessings to express their gratitude to God, that is not always the case. Oftentimes, these individuals can become jealous and entitled.
8 Finally Abram said to Lot, ‘Let’s not allow this conflict to come between us or our herdsmen. After all, we are close relatives!9 The whole countryside is open to you. Take your choice of any section of the land you want, and we will separate. If you want the land to the left, then I’ll take the land on the right. If you prefer the land on the right, then I’ll go to the left.’
10 Lot took a long look at the fertile plains of the Jordan Valley in the direction of Zoar. The whole area was well watered everywhere, like the garden of the Lord or the beautiful land of Egypt (New Living Translation, 1996/2015).
Lot’s decision to select the best choice of land went against decorum and custom. According to the tradition of those days, Abram, as the elder, should have gotten the first choice of land. Instead, Lot’s jealousy made him act entitled. Similarly, many of the negative influences in our lives mimic Lot’s behavior. Instead of gratitude, these individuals exhibit jealousy and entitlement.
Five Reasons to Get Rid of Negative Influences
Reason 4: They Cause Us to Fight Battles that Are Not Ours
When God blesses us, the anointing attached to the blessings follows us wherever we go. Notice that after Lot and Abram parted ways, Lot met turmoil. In fact, war had commenced in the region where Lot settled, and he was eventually captured during the unrest. When Abram heard that Lot had been seized, he mobilized a group of trained men and went into battle against Lot’s captors. Ultimately, Abram and his men rescued Lot and the other captives. They also recovered all their possessions. This brings me to the fourth reason why we should get rid of the negative influences in our lives.
The wrong people in our lives can ensnare us in battles that are not ours. In actuality, some of our negative relationships (platonic, collegiate, or romantic) have already engaged us in unmerited battles against principalities that have depleted us of time, effort, and resources. In other words, some of us are fighting battles and going through seasons that are not ours.
Five Reasons to Get Rid of Negative Influences
Reason 5: God Will Not Bless Us Until the Path is Cleared
The final reason why it is important to extricate ourselves from certain relationships is because there are times and seasons when God will not bless us until we are separated from certain people. In the account of Abram, it wasn’t until Lot left that God blessed Abram.
14 After Lot had gone, the Lord said to Abram, ‘Look as far as you can see in every direction—north and south, east and west.15 I am giving all this land, as far as you can see, to you and your descendants as a permanent possession. 16 And I will give you so many descendants that, like the dust of the earth, they cannot be counted! 17 Go and walk through the land in every direction, for I am giving it to you,’ (New Living Translation, 1996/2015).
There might be times when God will not bless us until we sever one or more of our current relationships. With that being said, perhaps God is calling us to let go of certain people in our lives. While doing so might be difficult, we have to be obedient and willing to part ways with these individuals if we want God to elevate us to the next level.
Five Reasons to Get Rid of Negative Influences
Conclusion
Time is the one commodity that no man can retrieve. Unfortunately, many of us have lost precious time engaging in relationships that God has told us to terminate. Fortunately, the one who controls the seasons can also retrieve the years we have lost. According to Joel 2:25-26:
25 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.
26 And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed (King James Bible, 1769/2017).
In this season, we need to pray that God will give us the discernment to recognize our Lots. After the revelation, we need to ask for the courage and faith to let those individuals go. Lastly, we need to ask God to retrieve all the years that we have lost. And though our beginnings are small, our latter days will be great (Job 8:7).