Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words, particularly negative words, have the potential to crush your spirit, break your heart, and demolish your dreams. For those of us who have heard that old childhood adage, we know that isn’t quite how the saying goes. In fact, that playground saying taught us, as children, that words are meaningless and non-impactful. However, nothing could be further from the truth. The negative words we speak to ourselves and others can be debilitating. Oftentimes, we have to retrain our minds to deprogram our pessimistic mindset and learn how to overcome negative words.
The Power of Words
Words ARE powerful. Furthermore, words can mold and shape us. It was with words that God created the heavens and the Earth. Moreover, the Creation Story demonstrates that words have the ability to create and destroy. This principle is also supported by Proverbs 18:21, which states that the power of life and death lies in the tongue.
Proclivity Toward Negativity
Reprogramming our minds to filter out unkind words can be difficult. In humans, there is a natural proclivity toward negativity. We would sooner believe the worst about ourselves (and others) before subscribing to a kinder truth. This phenomenon is explained by a psychological theory called positive-negative asymmetry. According to this principle, the impact of a reproach is more profound than a compliment.
Choosing Our Words
Our words should edify and administer grace to those hearing them (Ephesians 4:29). They should not cause people to retreat into despair and desperation. Criticism that is truly meant to be corrective should be delivered with love, consideration, and appropriate timing. Like they say, “timing is everything.” Furthermore, constructive criticism should be devoid of hatred, pride, and/or malice. In other words, it should come from a good place. Colloquialisms like “I keep it real” or “I call it as I see it” should not be used as an excuse to be hurtful. Responsible speech requires decorum. We don’t have a right to just say what we feel—uncensored, unadulterated, and unfiltered.
12 Tips to Overcome Negative Words
In a perfect world, people would have tact and decorum. But our world and the people in it are far from perfect. So what can we do to disarm the sting of hurtful words? Below are 12 tips to overcome negative words.
- Seek Professional help. Mental health professionals are individuals trained to provide coping skills and guidance.
- Pray! Never underestimate God’s ability to reframe our perspective.
- Discover self! Know that everyone on this earth was made on purpose. We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
- Become comfortable with imperfection. Know that no one is perfect, and that’s okay.
- Acknowledge that it is okay to be human.
- Know that not every criticism is a personal attack. Sometimes, other people have issues that have nothing to do with us.
- Learn to be introspective. Sometimes, we have to learn to look deeper at ourselves. Even criticism that comes from a negative place might have some merit. Weigh the message and the source. Apply what’s applicable and discard the rest. The person we are today should always strive to be better than yesterday’s version.
- Know that we cannot please everyone. While we should always strive to be our best, we must know that some people will always be disappointed.
- Learn to laugh at ourselves. Don’t take ourselves too seriously.
- Learn to laugh at others. Don’t always take people too seriously.
- Develop relationships with people who will keep us morally, spiritually, and personally accountable.
- Don’t just wait for others to affirm us; compliment ourselves. Sometimes, we have to learn how to encourage ourselves.